Is Your Friend A Good Sounding Board?

Are Your Friends a Good Sounding Board.

Everybody needs a good friend now and then.

 
I’m not talking about a  person you treat as a therapist. As busy as we are in our lives, we need to be able to confide in someone, every once in a while, about a problem we are having. It is nice when we can receive good counsel, so we need to make sure that the source is reliable. So how do we know when we have a good friend that gives good advice? Check out these five rules below as a guideline.
 

The first rule of thumb, find a good listener.

 
When deciding whether we have a good friend to trust our secrets with is: how good do they listen. Ever had a conversation with someone where they are looking at everything but you? They are not a good listener. Ask yourself one question, how can they give good advice when they’re only listening to half the story? If someone is genuinely interested in what you are saying, they are going to listen. They cannot give you advice if they are not hearing what you are speaking to them. Avoid people who are already thinking about what to say before you finish.

 

Rule number two, beware of hidden agendas.

 
Be careful of other people’s agendas. If you feel someone trying to manipulate you to get what they want, they have a different agenda. They might be using you to fill something in their lives. They are not concerned about what’s going on in yours. Also, when you’re talking to them about something serious. All at once the conversation becomes about them, they're not hearing what you’re saying. They will only come up with a quick answer to get you off their back.
 

Rule number three, can you get a word in?

 
Beware of people who do all the talking. Ever had a friend who didn’t stop talking. Every time you try to start a conversation, they cut you off, then do nothing but talk about themselves. You can’t even get a word in at all. How can they help you if they don’t even hear what you say? Avoid these people if you want to share anything.
 

Rule number four, look at their life.

 
Even if you have a working relationship with your friend, look at how well things are going for them. Ask yourself these questions. Do they seem like they’re on top of their game? Do they make good decisions for themselves? Do they struggle with everyday tasks? These are a good indicator of how well they make decisions.
 

Rule number five, you get what you pay for.

 
Remember every bit of advice they give you is free. It is nice to get a second opinion, but is just that. You have to make the ultimate decision. So don’t complain or get mad if their advice doesn’t work out. You are getting it for free. If it is something that you really need help on that is very important you should pay for a coach. They are more qualified to give you the right information for your situation.
 
People need friends in their life, but you need to find friends that add to your life. People who are a positive, not a negative. Does that mean avoid people who are not so friendly? No. Not at all. Just remember that is what they are and protect yourself from their influence.
 
If you need to change the way you pick your friends, contact us. If you keep getting the wrong ones, then please email us for a free, no cost consultation.
We can find out if this is a deeper emotional issue that needs more help. Or, help you make the life changes needed to change this area of your life.
 
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